chore: Improve type detection and node contains logic for shadow dom

[snowystinger]

Closes

Attempting to pull out some portions of #10102

This PR improves the internal types for some of our helper functions, allowing us to remove some casts. It also changes the detection for nodeContains with shadowDOM slotted components.
And it also changes some of the logic around our detection of various elements to make them SSR safe and accept a wider range of input.

✅ Pull Request Checklist:

• Included link to corresponding React Spectrum GitHub Issue.
• Added/updated unit tests and storybook for this change (for new code or code which already has tests).
• Filled out test instructions.
• Updated documentation (if it already exists for this component).
• Looked at the Accessibility Practices for this feature - Aria Practices

📝 Test Instructions:

🧢 Your Project:

[rspbot]

Build successful! 🎉

• View the storybook
• View the S2 storybook
• View the S2 docs
• View the React Aria docs

[rspbot]

## API Changes

@react-aria/utils

/@react-aria/utils:getOwnerDocument

 getOwnerDocument {
-  el: Element | null | undefined
+  target?: EventTarget | null
   returnVal: undefined
 }

/@react-aria/utils:getOwnerWindow

 getOwnerWindow {
-  el: (Window & any) | Element | null | undefined
+  target?: EventTarget | null
   returnVal: undefined
 }

/@react-aria/utils:isShadowRoot

 isShadowRoot {
-  node: Node | null
+  value: unknown
   returnVal: undefined
 }

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